Inviting Authenticity
Last weekend Jules & I held our first co-hosted yoga retreat. The part we had the least control over ended up being the thing I loved most: we created a space and a setting, but the people who filled it showed up so beautifully. Our retreat yogis arrived ready to settle in, slow down, get cozy and share a little bit of their souls. Our everyday lives don’t always expect that kind of engagement from us, but I believe we crave it. We want to get deeper than surface level.
We held an opening circle where we asked everyone to share what brought them to the retreat and what their intention was for being there. You can feel it when someone is giving a real answer that takes thought, rather than saying what they think they should, and each person answered with honesty and heart – inviting the next person to share with more vulnerability. From that opening moment onward we created an environment together in the mountains, where being real was valued. Where we recognized that speaking our truths is essential to connecting,
So for the retreat yogis, and anyone else who’d like to invite some of that depth into their lives, here are a few follow up actions to keep the mountain magic alive.
Connect to yourself first. It’s hard to show up authentically when you’re feeling disconnected and distracted. Try meditating for 5 minutes, breathing deeply, take a walk outdoors and notice the sights, sounds, sensations all around you, or move as your own body and breath dictate on a yoga mat.
Ask real questions. One thing that took the retreat deeper was the wealth and breath of conversations that happened. It felt as though little was off topic – and asking personal questions was invited rather than uncomfortable. Who in your life do you want to connect with more deeply, but you usually only discuss your day to day, other people, the news? What might happen if you asked them what their passions are?
Really listen. We don’t get to ask someone to be real with us and then get frustrated if it’s taking too long, or if it’s not what we wanted or expected to hear. True listening doesn’t happen when we’re thinking about what we’ll say next, and it doesn’t mean trying to solve that person problems or answer their existential questions. It means sitting still, listening, and taking in their perspectives, exactly as they are.
Answer honestly. Vulnerability invites vulnerability. Authenticity, openness, bravery allow those around us to open up their mouths and get the words out. The more you show up as your truest self, the more you’ll notice others doing it around you.
Keep in mind, not everyone deserves your big stories or scary truths, so make sure you trust the person you’re talking to. Know that you don’t have to get deep with everyone, and it should take a level of comfort with someone to share.
Good luck diving deeper my friends... let me know how it goes!